What is Big Deal Identity Coaching? (Why Female Founders Need More Than strategy & Mindset Work)

"Tell your critic to fuck off. Because they're wrong."

That's not something you'll hear in therapy. But it's exactly what my client—a clinical psychologist—needed to hear when her inner critic was spiralling about buying office furniture for her new practice.

She'd been in therapy for years. Understood her patterns. Could trace her inner critic back to its origins. But when it came time to actually challenge that voice? To move beyond understanding into doing? She was stuck.

Until she discovered Big Deal Identity coaching.

Here's how it is blowing her mind.

The Problem: You Don't See Yourself as a Big Deal (But You Are)

You've got the receipts. The raving fans. The business that's technically working. But when you look at your calendar, it makes you want to phone in sick. Your audience doesn't light you up anymore. Your offers? You've outgrown them two pivots ago. And you still feel far away from the three day working weeks that you promised yourself.

Here's the real issue: Your self-perception hasn't caught up to your actual capabilities.

You're running a successful business while still seeing yourself as someone who "got lucky" or "isn't really qualified." You're making good money but you feel like a fraud. You know you're capable of more but the headfuckery—the overthinking, overanalysing, imposter syndrome, and perfectionism—keeps slowing you down.

You don't have a strategy problem. You have a Big Deal Identity problem.

What is Identity Coaching vs. Big Deal Identity Coaching?

Identity coaching traditionally focuses on exploring who you are, understanding your values, and aligning your actions with your authentic self. It's about self-discovery and finding your "true identity."

Big Deal Identity coaching is something entirely different.

It's about owning the fact that you're already a big fucking deal.

Not becoming one. Not discovering if you might be one. Owning the fact that you already are.

When you perceive yourself as a big deal, you develop an unshakeable level of confidence, trust, and self-belief. You stop waiting for external validation. You stop overthinking every decision. You start taking action to go after what you want without the headfuckery slowing you down.

What "Headfuckery" Actually Costs You

Let me paint you a picture. My clinical psychologist client had enough work booked to pay her office lease a year upfront. But she was paralyzed about buying furniture because her inner critic was convinced she'd fail, have to sell everything on Facebook Marketplace for 50p, and face the humiliation of giving up her practice.

That's headfuckery in action.

• Overthinking: Analysing every possible failure scenario instead of focusing on current success

• Overanalysing: Dissecting why she might not deserve success instead of accepting that she's already achieving it

• Imposter syndrome: Feeling like a fraud despite having enough clients to pay rent a year in advance

• Perfectionism: Waiting for 100% certainty before making a simple furniture purchase

The cost? Paralysis. Delayed action. Opportunities missed while you're stuck in your own head.

The Clinical Psychologist's Breakthrough

After years of therapy understanding her patterns, here's what shifted everything for my client:

Her newly developing Big Deal Identity voice kicked in and said:

"I have enough work booked in over the next six weeks to not only pay all of my bills and my mortgage, but also pay the lease on my office for a full year upfront. I could do that. Because I've got enough work booked in."

It felt "icky and arrogant and big-headed"—because she'd been conditioned to think that backing herself was somehow wrong.

But it was also true. And it worked. She bought the furniture.

That's Big Deal Identity coaching in action: owning your reality instead of apologizing for it.

The Female Founder's Journey: What Doesn't Work and Why

Most successful women I work with have tried the same things:

THERAPY: Understanding the why behind their patterns
STRATEGY: Learning the how-to systems and frameworks
MINDSET WORK: Journaling, affirmations, and "thinking positive"

But they're still stuck. Because there's a gap that none of these address.

Here's what each approach actually does for female founders:

THERAPY: Understanding the Why

Focus: Past patterns and healing
What it gives you: Self-awareness, emotional regulation, understanding of triggers
What it doesn't give you: The confidence to act despite those triggers
Perfect for: Processing trauma, understanding patterns, building self-compassion

STRATEGY: Learning the How

Focus: Systems and processes
What it gives you: Funnels, frameworks, step-by-step plans
What it doesn't give you: The self-trust to execute those plans boldly
Perfect for: Building systems, learning tactics, creating processes

MINDSET: Thinking the Right Thoughts

Focus: Positive thinking and mental shifts
What it gives you: Affirmations, journaling prompts, "I can do this" energy
What it doesn't give you: The ability to actually do the stretchy things when it matters
Perfect for: Daily motivation and maintaining optimism

BIG DEAL IDENTITY: Owning Who You Already Are

Focus: Present-moment embodiment of your actual capabilities
What it gives you: Unshakeable self-trust to take action from evidence, not hope
What it doesn't give you: More theory—this is about execution
Perfect for: Women who know what to do but struggle to own their power and do it boldly

The Gap Between Knowing and Doing

You can have years of therapy, perfect strategy knowledge, and a mindset like Tony Robbins—and still freeze when it's time to execute.

Why? Because none of those address the core issue: You don't see yourself as someone who gets the results you're actually getting.

• Therapy helps you understand why you doubt yourself

• Strategy teaches you what to do about it

• Mindset work helps you think positively about it

• Big Deal Identity work helps you own the fact that you're worthy of it, so it makes going after it feel safer (and dare I say EXCITING)

The gap between strategy and execution isn't mindset. It's identity.

The Room Full of Big Deals Who Couldn't Say It

I was speaking in London to a room full of female founders at the absolute top of their game. Women who were literally the success stories other entrepreneurs looked up to.

Halfway through my talk, I asked them to do one simple thing:

Stand up and say: "Hi, my name is [name], and I'm a big fucking deal."

The discomfort was immediate and obvious.

Some jumped up right away—but they were the minority. Some cringed visibly before standing. Others stayed firmly planted in their seats, unable to move. A few came up to me afterwards, privately telling me how much resistance they felt to saying those words out loud, even though something shifted the moment they finally did.

These were women with the receipts. The revenue. The recognition. The results.

And they still couldn't publicly own the fact that they were big deals.

That's the gap.

You can be incredible at what you do—have the clients, the testimonials, the bank account to prove it—and still struggle to own it in public. You can have built something extraordinary and still feel weird about saying so out loud.

That's exactly what Big Deal Identity work shifts.

It's not about convincing you that you might be capable someday. It's about owning what you've already proven you are, right now, in rooms full of people—and everywhere else.

Because if you can't own your success in a room full of peers who are just as successful, how are you showing up when you're pitching to potential clients? Speaking at events? Pricing your offers?

You're leaving money, opportunities, and impact on the table because you're uncomfortable with your own power.

Signs You Need Big Deal Identity Work

You Have the Results But Not the Confidence

You're booked out for months but you feel like a fraud. You're making good money but you're terrified of being "found out." You have raving testimonials but you still think you "got lucky."

Your Inner Critic is Louder Than Your Bank Account

Despite evidence of your success, you still hear "Who do you think you are?" every time you try to level up. You have the receipts but you're still waiting for permission to own your achievements.

You Know What to Do But Can't Do It

The strategy isn't the problem. The execution is. You overthink every decision, overanalyze every outcome, and perfectionism paralyzes you before you even start.

You don't need more information. You need to own what you already know.

What Makes Someone Ready for This Work

You don't need to be "healed" first. You don't need to complete therapy. You don't need to figure out all your childhood patterns.

You need to be more committed to your growth than your excuses.

My ideal client is a woman who:

• Has actual results but doesn't see herself as someone who gets results

• Is tired of understanding her patterns and ready to disrupt them

• Wants to stop overthinking and start executing

• Craves confidence that matches her capabilities

She's not broken. She's not in crisis. She's just tired of her own headf*ckery.

Ready to Stop the Headfuckery?

If you're tired of overthinking your way out of opportunities, overanalysing yourself into paralysis, and letting imposter syndrome drive decisions that should be driven by evidence—this work is for you.

Big Deal Identity coaching isn't about becoming someone new. It's about finally being who you already are when the headf*ckery isn't running the show and dimming your light.

The clinical psychologist who bought her office furniture without a three-week analysis of failure scenarios.

The coach who raised her prices because she knows she's worth it, not because she spent six months convincing herself.

The entrepreneur who booked her first paid speaking gig because she's a big deal, not because she finally felt "ready."

That woman already exists inside you. She's just waiting for you to stop overthinking and own it.

Ready to eliminate the headfuckery?

Client experiences shared with permission. Details changed to protect confidentiality.